# My Honest Take on The Mom Test Book

> What Rob Fitzpatrick's The Mom Test taught me about compliments, honest feedback and asking better questions.

- Author: Bianca Correia
- Published: 12 Oct 2026
- Topics: product, research, books, feedback
- URL: https://biancacorreia.com/blog/my-honest-take-on-the-mom-test-book

Whenever I get excited about an idea, my first move is to tell my friends and wait for the reaction. If I'm honest, I'm not after feedback. I'm after a reaction to validate what I want to hear.

So reading The Mom Test by Rob Fitzpatrick was a good wake up call. In a good way, mostly. Nearly every page had me thinking back to some conversation where I'd done exactly what he warns against.

## The compliment problem
Fitzpatrick's big argument is that a bad conversation is worse than no conversation at all. If someone says "oh, that's brilliant," you walk away feeling validated, but you've learned nothing, and now you're more confident about something you haven't tested. He spent about three years talking to customers at his first company before he realised he'd been doing it wrong the whole time.

## It's not really about your mum
The title made me laugh, but the point is more interesting than it first sounds. Your mum isn't lying to you because she's a liar. She's lying because she loves you. Generally people who care about you protect you from failure and from success. She might tell you it's brilliant when it isn't. She might also talk you out of something that would have worked.

Fitzpatrick's own example is a recipe app he pitched to his mum. She was lovely about it. Then a few questions later, it turned out she'd never use it and certainly wouldn't pay for it. Nobody did anything wrong there. Kindness and honesty just aren't the same thing. The book's real message is that you shouldn't ask anyone whether your idea is good, because it's a bad question. Finding the truth is your job, not theirs.

## Fishing for the delulu feedback
He sorts useless answers into three kinds: sweeping claims, promises about the future, and hypothetical maybes. In real life that sounds like "I always," "I would" and "I might." Once I knew that, I started hearing them everywhere. In meetings, in group chats, in my own mouth. It's a humbling realisation.

## What people did beats what people say
This was the lesson that changed how I ask questions. "Would you use this?" asks someone to assume the best outcomes, all hopes and dreams. It doesn't ask for honesty, transparency or constructive feedback. Due to fear of offending you people tend to just be nice and say what you want to hear. "When did this last come up, and what did you do about it?" is much harder to dodge, because it's about something that actually happened.

## Commitment is the only compliment that counts
Someone saying your idea sounds amazing costs them nothing. Someone giving you thirty minutes, paying a deposit, joining a waitlist or introducing you to a friend with the same problem is risking something, it shows real effort. That's the real signal. I've started judging interest by what people do next, not by how excited they sound at the moment. How can you assume someone will commit to your idea? You don't, you take the signals and read between the lines. Don't wait for the answers to fall onto your lap. Be specific, leave no room for ambiguity. It is your responsibility to ask questions that will return useful information, not seeking to validate your own thoughts or assumptions, if you don't accept this then your idea will be buried. You aren't trying to remove every doubt. You're trying to learn enough to take the next step.

## What I found restrictive
I won't pretend it's perfect. It's simple advice that's genuinely hard to follow. I can argue that the book underplays how much skill interviewing takes. When someone looks confused by your idea, the urge to take over and start explaining is really strong. You start over explaining to almost defend your idea and that probably isn't helpful.

There isn't a set structure on how to conduct your interviews, so if you want a step by step process, you'll have to build your own.

## Try it this week
Next time you want an honest answer from someone, skip the pitch and ask three things. When did this last come up for you? What did you do about it? And is there anything I should have asked that I didn't? That last one is my favourite.

## My final thoughts
It's around 130 pages, packed with examples of good and bad conversations, and you can read it in an afternoon. Read it, then go and have a few slightly awkward, honest chats. That's where it starts to work.

Have you read the book? Let me know your thoughts below.